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September 24th, 1998
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THE DIGITAL ROD
By Tribal Hammer Loins
You know, when we started this site a half-year ago, our goals were slightly different. Fatty, who had previously run a popular DVD Review index, came to us all with an interesting idea: To present multiple reviews of the same disc in order to give the picky public what they wanted: the perfect review. In our minds, if one read four reviews of each disc rather than just one, the probability of reading what he wanted to read was far greater. So we came up with a color scheme, tossed around a few ideas, forked over some money, and begot teamdvd.com. We were never trying to accomplish the following things:
-Being a DVD news site
-Being just another DVD site
-Being the only DVD site
From the get go we worked on reviews, with added daily features to keep the interest up and the character alive. We did what many reviewers never do: watch all the content on each disc. We watched the film, evaluated the quality of picture, sound, extras and menus, and then discussed our thoughts on each. In my opinion our reviews are damn good. To me, our reason for existence is quality. Every review I read on another site sounds like they popped the disc in, looked at the bonus materials screen, read the back of the box, and wrote a paragraph. To the true DVD fan, this is not acceptable. I can't count the number of emails I've received thanking us as a whole for recommending a certain disc or warning about another. To me, this meant a job well done.
Upon our initial launch we all spent some time soliciting feedback. Fatty, our Public Relations representative contacted numerous DVD web sites in hopes to generate interest as well as visiting IRC frequently to see what people thought. We did some refining, followed on a few criticisms and worked until the people we were talking to were pleased. It's unfortunate that some, well... one webmaster had some problems with our nicknames, but we really didn't dwell on it. We traded a few emails independently, I figured out what kind of a person this webmaster was, and let it be. My point is that I was having fun doing this.
As it always happens in the movies however, my sunny day had a thunderhead on the horizon. It's no longer fun.
Looking into this community and dare I say culture, I've met a lot of genuinely cool people. People interested in both the films and the technology, yearning for knowledge and grateful for the information we presented. A few even understood our humor (which I'll get to in a bit). I've had some hilarious conversations with people about Fox, Swimming with Sharks, LA Confidential, Spielberg, and Circuit City. These connections, to me, are worth the time and money it's cost me to enter this coven. Unfortunately, I'd say these people, which I'd refer to as cool, make up about ten percent of the total amount of folk I've had to deal with. There is a serious problem in the online DVD community and I think a select few know it.
Humor. The Act of laughing in jest. A joke.
I'm avidly involved in the first-person-shooter gaming community as well. I can play Quakeworld with the best of them. Anyway, the major difference I see between the two (besides the orders of magnitude more people into gaming) is Humor. At risk of sounding like Ross Perot "You People" just don't get it. From day One I've received emails asking about why I'd be so excited over a release like 'Chairman of the Board.' Now for all the people who have laughed either with or at our site in the past, this next paragraph is not for you. Those that believe Fatty Chubs is an offensive name, read on...
"Why did the guy cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in a chicken." (Last Boy Scout) We here at teamdvd realized long ago that the easiest way to differentiate ourselves from other run-of-the-mill DVD sites is through humor. "Ah..." you're hopefully thinking as this factoid finally sinks in... "That's why the color scheme is teal and yellow!" That's why our Daily Rumours were so wack (people actually sent us mail asking if titanic really was going to be released in a two-disc set), and that's why our webmaster is named Chicken Buddha. If you'd sit back and lift your veils of literalness you'd see that plain as day. One simply doesn't see references to Celebrity Deathmatch on the Digital Bits. Face it people: We're wacky! And if you can't see that, then you didn't enjoy 'There's Something About Mary.'
It's like the majority of this community has had a giant digital rod shoved up its ass for so long that it's sitting comfortably. Are we supposed to be the ones with the rubber glove to probe in and pull it out? Maybe. That's not really for us to say. What is for us to say is that "You People" need to lighten up.
Now this flamefest that's going on. It's ridiculous! I urge you all to go back to dvdresouce's forum and reread all your posts. They're hilarious! I laughed my ass off reading them! Talk of immaturity, whining, lack of talent, jealousy, "grammtical" errors, and fear run rampant on two threads there, plus another on e-town, and one on ours! One person even had the audacity to say that we are "just another bunch of DVD losers who have nothing to do but reiterate what everyone has already heard." To that I hand Mr. Cudbucket a mirror. I believe he himself has visited this site over twenty times since that initial post on dvdresource. Each time leaving a cute little message about how much we suck of course. The same people saying the same thing over and over again. 'Reiterate' is definitely not too big a word Fred.
If you don't like our site, fine. Don't come.
If you don't understand our humor and find it offensive, fine. Don't come.
If you have a personal relationship with Steve Tannehill and find our references to him offensive, fine. Don't come.
Call it the Stern effect or call it reverse psychology, but any way you cut it, you're playing right into our trap. Since we started in April '98, we've had 24,701 hits. Just over a thousand has been from the last two days. This should be alerting those so loyal to Steve as to spout off about how crappy we are that you're doing more harm than good. More people are visiting this site now than before you started this tirade. Perhaps next time you should keep it private eh Paul?
So why did we do this in the first place? Why did we feel an intensely sick and perverted need to post a question in our fall contest about Steve Tannehill and his cat? Well whether it is best or not I won't answer this. Let's just call it a little light-hearted humor that I know goes right under his skin. I have plenty I could say about Steve Tannehill the person and dvdresource.com the site but I will refrain, for that is just as low as Cubucket's approach. If one is still puzzled, he should examine the questions more carefully. Low and behold there is a joke in every one. We worked on this contest as a team so you can accuse all of us with equal maliciousness if you wish but if four people exuberantly agree on several odd traits exhibited in one person... chances are it's not us.
Steve has built up a following within this community, and I find that somewhat respectable. What I don't agree with is their tunnelvision when it comes to thought. Fatty Chub's initial attack on Steve was because of his "Open DVD" day idea. It's a pitch asking everyone that reads his site to go out and spend twenty to forty dollars in hopes that Circuit City checks receipts that day and decides to discontinue DIVX. I know some of you have the kind of greenback to spend on principal, but I myself like to control the little money I do have. Whether we admit it or not, we all know DIVX has failed. Why needlessly spend money? Since Fatty is particularly economically minded, he sought to point this ridiculous preassumption that Steve made out to all of our readers. In the forum I noticed Rich say "this is why Open DVD day will work, because of people like Steve and me." Umm... what?? Rich, if you wish to help split the bill for roughly ten thousand people's DVD purchases with Steve, I have no problem with that. Many people just don't realize how insane some of Steve's ideas are. We're simply trying to enlighten people.
A note to Richard71, and all of you participating in the hatemailing. My address is 145-C Perkins Rd. Rochester, NY 14623. My phone number is 716-424-8295. If you'd like to talk or even meet (As Richard suggests) with me or Fatty, we'd be more than up for it. In fact I'd be happy if someone did go that extra step. Why you ask? Currently, my belief is that a lot of people partaking in our systematic destruction only do so because of the anonymity and relative safety the Internet affords. How ironic that people are bashing us for our nicknames when they themselves would remain silent in a real-world atmosphere. Of course I can't force any of you to come forth so I suppose I have to put up with such stupid comments as "I would be surprized if someone hacks your page and screws it all up." (Thanks ghost705c@hotmail.com)
It's fairly impressive how many things people will choose to make fun of you. Calling Fatty Chubs a "Fat Fuck" (thanks again ghost), even though no picture of Mr. Chubs is available online (in reality he weighs in at a hefty 150 lbs.), berating our reviews (when in reality I haven't read any better from those doing the berating), and playing the infamous "college card." I'm not quite certain where the logic in calling four students attending the second-highest rated technical school in America "stupid" comes in, but apparently the term "Ph.D." means something completely different than what I previously thought it to mean. Oh shit.
A few interesting points come to mind. I never knew so many of you had our site bookmarked in the first place! It doesn't bother me in the slightest to learn that you've deleted it however... I know who our true fans are, I know who our supporters are and have been, and hopefully we've served them well. For a last hurrah we're giving away a copy of 'Little Shop of Horrors' (with the alternate ending) an autographed copy of 'DVD Demystified,' and a copy of 'Boy in the Bubble' signed by every member of the team. I find it sad to see that over half of our entries got the question asking the author of 'DVD Demystified' wrong. It really says something to me though, so I can take the hint.
It truly is unfortunate that another company claims to own the words "team" and "DVD" arranged in exactly the same way we arrange them. Honestly though, we're not fighting too hard. Every word Chicken Buddha writes is true... We're the common enemy of the day. After we're gone there will be something else. DIVX and Dreamworks can't last forever. I for one don't wish to be a part of a community empty without conflict. It's a shame but I believe that's what this has come to be. And so it's time to move on, in search of greener grass and friendlier people. This is my last post to teamdvd.com. I will not miss it.
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September 22nd, 1998
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By Chicken Buddha
Many of you are pissed off because Team DVD is making fun of people. Well,
maybe just Steve Tannehill. I guess the reason is simple. Many of you know of our continued
legal difficulties surrounding use of the name "Team DVD." Well we have
submitted to the corporate bully tactics and are giving it all up.
Score:
Corporate Lawyers 1
College Kids 0
Since we really don't have to take any of this serious anymore we figured
we wouldn't. We knew the backlash we were creating and figured it was
much better to go out on the bottom instead of in the middle of the pack
with the rest of the kiss-steve's-ass dvd web sites.
And, since we have a few prizes left over from our days of real DVD, we
figured we would give them to the little people, all of you who
supported us in the beginning when we were something new and fresh.
The problem with this whole thing is that DVD is not new and fresh anymore.
Whether you want to admit it or not, DVD is almost mainstream. DIVX? Why
the hell is everyone so worried about DIVX? Like that is ever going to
work. Blockbuster is starting to rent DVDs in hundreds of stores
across the country. You people are running out of hurdles to jump.
All the studios have signed. Movies are being released. Blockbuster is starting
to rent. Soon DIVX will be gone and then what? What will the sites talk about
then? What will Steve Tannehill preach about?
How much do you read about Video(VHS)? Ooooo... debates about widescreen vs. pan & scan.
The infamous FAQs on VCR quality. Wow, that is some great stuff. This is where DVD is heading, and this
is where all DVD websites are heading. You all know it is true. That is
why you latch on to DIVX. Competing standards are the last thing that prove
an emerging technology is emerging. Once the competing standards are eliminated,
the new technology is mainstream. And you, my little DVD warriors, are no
longer early adopters on the cutting edge of home theater. You are ordinary
consumers like the rest of America.
So, as we lie here in our last days, we will have this little contest, and
we will make fun of whoever we want. If you wish to flame us and make fun of
our grammer, so be it. But please refrain from posting harsh language in the forum.
If you wish to make a flame against us, please try something better than, "F*ck you, you guys suck"
Chicken Buddha over and out.
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people have been here lately...
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